The End of Existance is Near

I am just lying here in bed, fuckin exhausted from getting up at 0430 and working till 6 at night, it sucks. Today I actually euthanized an owners pet since 2003. A long time since I have been apart of it. It was very hard for me. The difference of euthanizing a lab animal to someone personal pet. He was a German Shepard and a wet ass dog. Just had too many problems with his hips. So I placed he catheter and watched a husband and wife cry over this 105 pound beautiful German Shepard like they had just lost their child. It was hard and I had to leave one we were done. I left the room, borrowed a cigarette, yes a smoke from my receptionist and went outside to smoke. I cried a little because it was a little overwhelming for me to deal with. I thought about ginger and how it will be tough for me to put her down even though she is a whiny little bitch. I used to be so numb this. I still am I just think with someone’s pet and to see how much a human being cared for this animal is what sent me over the edge. Today was quite busy with pay problems and me now getting ready to kick someone out in my first week there, how great. I need to email HB and randy more cause I have been slacking. I miss you Jennifer to the ends of the earth, plus I think I am ready to give up this life in the military. I think with all this bullshit here and the things in my life, I am ready to walk away and never deal with it again. I think about it almost everyday and why I reenlisted, for what? Maybe I am falling into more of a depression but I feel like this is the end of the road I am ready to go, my mind hasn’t changed for three weeks now which is kind of weird but it hasn’t. I think it is time seek a new profession. Well I will let you all go, tomorrow is American idol so another blog, oh yeah I am thinking about after jen gets back to throw in the towel with this blog for good. Just don’t think it is worth it anymore. Goodbye.



HAPPY EIGHT MONTHS JENNIFER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!