Well, Well, well, where should I start? I am everyone would like to know a little about me. Well I am in the military, U.S Army ($150) and I give a shout out to RC666 for starting up my blogging. Lets see I think the anger started way back in the year 2003. I met a woman, who was beautiful and smart and funny, and that had a great personality or so I thought. We dated for about four months, mind you she was in past relationship that was fucked up. So I knew going into this that it could be a little rough but I felt like I could help her, because I have a big hear and after meeting her, I thought that this was something I was meant to do. So after the four moths of bliss she came to e one day and said that it had to end and her hubby, yes she was married at one time, but divorced. She said it was over between me and her and she was going back to him. LOL, I the murderous thoughts going through my head, anyways, the way that it first ended between them was he hit her. So after all that she wanted to go back to him, and that hurt me because I figured someone who can give you the world, and threat you like a queen, is getting left for a wife beater? Ok, so a week later she came back to me crying saying she was sorry for hurting me and she was going to leave him, well she said she had left him but she was back with him, it was an off and on thing for her. So I beat the shit out of myself for 9 months wondering what the fuck did I do wrong and how I fucked something great up. And one day I get a phone call. It is her and she said in the hospital and she said her piece of shit for a man hit her. So with my big heart that I have after all the pain and agony I went through for 9 months, I should had told her to fuck off, but I didnt, I let back in and I ran to her. After that night, everything that I sweated for 9 months seemed to have disappeared, it seemed like it was all going to work out. Or so I thought. Again everything went well for the first couple of months, we say each other everyday, we talked about the future, we even were planning on moving in by the summer of early fall. But hen the shit hit the fan, we were soo happy together one week, and the next she was acting like a bitch, she would go into other rooms and talk on the phone for a hour or two, she would go out at night and not come home until four a.m without a any phone calls to let me know she was ok. And while all this shit was going on I knew it was all fuckin over, when in a week, one week, everything broke down and she said she couldn't be with me anymore. We were going good for four months, and then with in a week it was all over. Knowing what I put into that relationship, knowing the sacrifices I made for her, it fuckin kills me. And the pain, which will last a life time, but I thought I could never hate her, but the hate has come and wont go away. The suicidal thoughts that have ran through my head, Ha, Ha I laugh, I guess I haven’t brought myself to that bridge yet, but I am working on it. And people say don’t get worked up over nothing she was a bitch and a tramp and I know this, I know she is the filthiest cunt in the world, but I don’t know how to make the pain stop. So this is the start of my blog, I will have good things to say, there are sooo many more feelings that consume my head, but they are all hard to get out on paper.