She is gone, my wife, my best friend, my shrink, my companion, the woman and I love lying next to in bed every night, the woman that I can get into a fight with and be over it in a matter of thirty minutes, the future mother of my children, THE ONE, the woman from the first kiss that I knew I was going to spend the rest of my life with, the woman that puts up with my crap and childish games, the woman that has the most patience in the whole entire world, the woman that I love waking up to in the morning, the woman that I love running my hands through her hair, the woman that I CAN NOT stand to be away from, my wife, Jennifer. As I sit here in tears, thinking about you nonstop, this is fuckin hard, no fuckin joke. I cried on the back from the airport. I was listening to the acoustic version of Call it Karma by Silverstein. I just cried, and I didn’t hold it in like I have done with her before. It just hurt too much, its still hurts, I miss her. I miss her like no other woman I have ever been with; I know for me it has sunk in that she is MY WIFE. That she is the one I will be with for the rest of my life. I am still crying, I came home and hugged Ginger, and layed in bed. Smelling the pillow, smelling the fragrance that she left behind and the air is slowing carrying away that smell. I didn’t think it would be soo hard, I didn’t know I would end up like this today. I don’t know what triggered this but, wow. I just want her to come back to me, for good. I don’t want to do this anymore, I don’t want to be away, and I don’t want to be far apart because “someone” said so. Fuck them. This hurts sooooo much more then any other time, then anything I have ever experienced. I don’t want to function, I want to roll up in bed and wait for her to come back to me, to save me. I just want to hide in the closet in the corner and wait it out. I sit here crying, thinking about all of the good times we had while she was down here, how she made me coffee every morning, how she was soo patient while she injected me with lidocaine and how much of a wuss I was freaking out about a little needle. How she was soo happy when she found the house she loved and she wanted, how many times she said I love you, how many times she kissed me. I miss you Jennifer.
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